Frequently Asked Questions
How long does it take to find a grief buddy?
It depends on who has submitted a survey with Grief Buddies. Sometimes, someone with a similar story has already submitted a survey and the two people can be matched immediately. Other times, it takes a while to find someone a grief buddy. We try our best to continue to update you with everything and to continue sending out other resources in the meantime.
What should I say when I first reach out to my grief buddy?
You can start off by introducing yourself. Say "Hi (their name)! My name is (your name) and we're grief buddies." I would then suggest saying who passed away and any circumstances regarding their death that you would like to discuss initially (like how long ago it was, how they passed, etc.). However, make sure to quickly establish what each person is comfortable talking about! Also, discuss expectations on how you can/would like to support each other.
What do I need to do as a grief buddy?
Be open and honest to yourself and to the other person. If you aren't comfortable with talking about something, let the other person know. If you can tell that they aren't comfortable with discussing a topic, don't pressure them to continue talking about it.
Additionally, when you sign up to have a grief buddy, make sure that you are available to talk to the other person. Be courteous and honest with them about your time availability.
Finally, when you complete a survey, we ask for your email and your phone number(which is optional) so that we can get in contact with you, and so that you can then get in contact with your grief buddy. If you only provide your email, make sure that the email is written correctly and that you will check your emails regularly. If you provide a phone number, double check to make sure that the numbers are correct as well.
Is there anything that I should be cautious about discussing with my grief buddy?
Yes! Make sure to establish guidelines with each other and determine what you both are comfortable with talking about. Although you may have similar stories, you each are still on your own journey, so there may be things that one person is not ready to talk about. Certain experiences and conversations may be uncomfortable to discuss, so don't pressure them into talking about something they are not comfortable with talking about.
However, you may not know initially what you aren't ready to discuss until that topic is brought up. Make sure to be open and honest with your grief buddy throughout this time.
I can't get a hold of my grief buddy/ my grief buddy has stopped responding. What do I do?
Initially, be patient with your grief buddy. They may be very busy and are unable to get back to you. However, if they still don't end up responding, email us and we are more than happy to help!
What should I talk with my grief buddy about?
It's up to you! You can ask each other questions to know about each other's stories. You can also reach out when you're feeling sad, when there are special holidays, when you're thinking about your loved one, or just when you want to talk to a friend. You can discuss other topics that aren't related to grief as well, as long as you both are comfortable with it.
I think my grief buddy might need additional support that I can't provide. What do I do?
This situation may be difficult for the both of you. Sometimes, additional support is needed that talking to a grief buddy can't provide. Make sure to talk to each other about this and let the other person know how you are feeling. If you need additional help with this, send us an email and we are happy to help.
If you are the grief buddy that might need additional support, that is completely okay. Be honest with yourself, and be honest with your grief buddy. Your grief buddy is not meant to be your therapist. You are supposed to help each other. If you need additional help, let each other know and then send us an email explaining the circumstances so that we can help as well.
What if me and my grief buddy aren't quite the right fit for each other?
That's completely okay. Let each other know how you are feeling and then email us and we are happy to help.